The Gardener

His bottle of coke sat in the sun as he clipped away the leaves, surely it must be warm by now.

If my mom were here, she would have already offered him an ice-cold water and a sandwich, a tortilla, something. But I just sat, staring at him through my mirrored window, wondering why I couldn’t do the same.

I felt some sense of embarrassment, as if, reaching out and humanizing our coexistence was too risky, being vulnerable was dangerous, and I wondered when in my life did I get damaged from doing that.

To top it off, I am an empath - I very acutely feel the joys and pains of others. Yet I still can’t will myself to connect on that level of humanity because it is too intimate for me.

The morality of our existence as humans is the only thing that will save us from ourselves. If we reconnect with the concept of kindness, of cooperation rather than this notion of individualism, that is how we can overcome the fallacies of modern-day social and political structures that tear apart the fabric of our lives.

We first seek to identify what makes the other person different, rather than what makes us the same. And walking through life with this precedent in mind, its no wonder that we cannot get up and offer our neighbor, the gardener, the homeless man on the street, the pregnant lady at the door, the schoolteacher, the cashier, a glass of ice cold water to signify our kindness.

It’s true, we don’t owe anyone anything. We can get through life just fine, even thrive, by alienating the other, sometimes even putting them down. So are we just scarred by some past trauma that prevents us from being open with our fellow brothers and sisters, to show that we are human?

My mother’s warm spirit is one thing that I did not inherent that I sorely wish I did. She can talk to anyone and make friends in all places, and do so in a way that makes the other person feel that they are talking to someone who genuinely cares about them. From the countless homeless people who knock on her door asking for food, a glass of water, a shower, to people on the bus, to people on airplanes, at the grocery store, etc.

The last time she was visiting, I heard her speaking outside my place, chatting cheerfully about the weather. I wondered, did she come across an old friend? Who was she talking to for 10 minutes, laughing animatedly?

“Mom, who was that?” I asked when she came inside.

“Oh, the gardener. I just took out the trash and we started talking.”

“Do you know him?”

“No, no, I was just asking how his day was. He started talking about his job, he likes working here. People are nice and they let him come on his off time and bring his kids to the community pool.”

And just like that, she humanized him.